My brief is to answer the questions posed by readers and to include a recipe. It seems that you may need a recipe for ‘happily ever after’.
I think that you could use a professional relationship counsellor answering your question. A person in that field would probably go on about the importance of sharing and contributing equally in a partnership etc…etc…etc
I am not one of those professionals; but I have been a professional cook for the best part of twenty years, and I can offer some insight into the relationship dynamics between someone who cooks for a living as I do, and the friends and family around me.
We all eat, so we are all critics. That is the underlying challenge with food. We are all highly critical and have very strong personal beliefs as to what food should be, even though many of us have no idea how to produce it to the level that we like to eat it. I believe that there are two types of food; there is good food and there is bad food. It does not matter whether it is Mum’s Spaghetti Bolognese or a multi course experience that sets you back a weeks wages, they will both fall into one of these two categories.
Competition between my partner and I has never really been an issue, as I have never really seen this area as a competitive arena. Good cooks come in many forms and can not always be compared so easily (Ready Steady Cook is certainly NOT the answer)!!!
For me, the most sensitive relationship in this regard has always been the one between me, and the mother of my partner….here you must tread very carefully, the smallest poorly considered remark can be devastating. Usually the family matriarch rightly holds the title of the best cook in them there parts, and it can be seen as if you are infringing on ‘her turf’.
I was told, by an Italian friend of mine, that my handmade spaghetti and meatballs that I have on the menu presently were as good as his mother’s, but not as good as his grandmother’s. I was very pleased, and a little surprised by this compliment, and there wasn’t even the slightest bit of competitive regret that I had not done better than his grandmother, because even as a chef, mama is sacred, and you do not want to compete with that. My own mother cooks many things that I would not wish to emulate; I just want her to keep cooking them for me.
I would never criticize any food that had been prepared for me by anyone else, in the spirit of hospitality, because I know the work and the giving of oneself that goes into preparing food with love, and regard for those that will be eating it. Mostly I am just happy to be eating, and enjoying the social occasions and company that revolves around these meals, that whole part of my brain is not even switched on at these occasions.
I also understand probably better than anyone else, that things sometimes go wrong, in the workplace and in the home. I have certainly had some real disasters in both places, in fact I find it considerable more difficult to cook in a domestic environment, because there isn’t the same pressure, and it is not the same work dynamic as what I am trained for, or am used to. In this regard, the passionate home cook definitely has an advantage over a professional cook, and rightly so. A well versed and passionate home cook is a pleasure to watch at work, and to exchange ideas with. It is someone who I really admire.
You and your girlfriend seem like you may be those types of people, and in today’s world of fast convenience foods I hope that you continue down that road together.
Cook for each other….cook as a team….challenge each other, and enjoy the learning experience together, that’s my answer. Here is my recipe for ‘Happily Ever After’
Natural Oysters with Bloody Mary Granite
I get my oysters from Shane, at ‘The Oyster Haven’ in Geelong St Fyshwick, I use his Coffin Bay oysters from South Australia, and I have to say that they are as good as any oyster product that I have seen anywhere in the world.
- 350ml tomato juice
- 85ml vodka
- 15ml fresh lemon juice
- 1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
- 2 drops Red Tabasco Pepper sauce
- Salt & freshly ground black pepper, to taste
- 1 celery stick and lemon slice, to garnish
|
Put all the liquid ingredients, salt and pepper into a cold cocktail shaker, and dance around the kitchen, naked together in a silly manner, shaking all your bits like mad.
